Cashiers' Top Ten List (Post 2)

Cashiers, the front line of the store, standing behind their regal throne: the cash register. We are often the first people you see and most often the last people you see when you exit a store; we are the one's you encounter when you have a question and the one you complain to when you have a problem, but we cashiers have problems of our own and that's why I Rant from the Register.

1. Don't talk on the phone - You decide to take your order to the register, you pile everything on the conveyor belt or you leave it in the cart and then your phone rings and you decide to answer it in the middle of your transaction, this is the biggest mistake you could have made. Cashiers are human, I know it's hard to remember and when we are trying to ring up your order and you're in la la land talking about how this person you barely know is having problems,  and basically living out your soap opera dreams, I am at the register ringing up your order and instead of you paying attention and making sure you are watching the prices or telling me how you want everything bagged or handled you're still in la la land. Don't talk on the phone, think of going to the cash register like going to the doctor; what if in the middle of a very important check up your phone rings, will you answer it right there when the doctor is about to give you the test results? I hope you said, nope! So why is it when you are about to get groceries for yourself, that you decide that right now is the time to ignore how much you am spending just so that later on you can say "my cashier stole my meat" or "the cashier rang me up 8 dollars for apples", no the cashier didn't do anything you just didn't pay attention.
2. Don't throw your money at me - "hello welcome to so and so, did you find everything alright, thank you have a nice day". Where in those phrases did you see or hear, welcome to the strip club, please throw your money at me so I can perform for you. I hate this almost as much as when customers are on their phone, but throwing your money at me ticks me off. If a cashier has their hand out extended waiting for you to give them your money, why on earth would you just start throwing it, or as one customer told me delightfully, "I'm making it rain." Could you imagine if I threw your money at you, when I had to give you change, I just started pelting you with coins and dollar bills, could you even imagine the hoopla that would cause. I hate to use the term again and again, but cashiers are cashiers and we don't like money being thrown at us. I always ask people, especially why they ask why I get a sour look on my face, if they have a daughter. I ask customers if they have a daughter because it is easier for them to picture their daughter behind a register and some old man throwing money at her. Just remember, money belongs in the extended hand or on the counter but not being thrown at me like you want a lap dance.
3. Don't yell at me about prices - I don't make the prices, I don't fix the prices, I don't decide how much the prices are going to be next week; so why do customers scream at cashiers because the milk is 50 cents more expensive then at the local competitor, it beats me. Customers like to assume that cashiers know all the prices: in the store, at other stores, at the competitor's stores, and even what the prices are going to be 200 years from now. What grinds my gears, is when customers yell and accuse me of purposely raising the price just for them. First of all, you are not that important for me to even raise the prices just for you. Second of all, if I did raise the price of milk it wouldn't be a lousy 50 cents. If you have a problem with a price that is between you and the company, because not even the managers could lower prices. Next time you're at the register and you notice that cheese is a little more expensive blame the company and not the innocent person whose only job is to stand behind a register and scan your groceries.
4. Don't tell me, I pay your salary - Let me take a breath and try not to curse through this one, because of all the dumb things I have heard while being a cashier, this has to be on the tippy toppy of the list. Customers love to throw the fact that they have money and they are buying groceries at my store and that I have to do a good job because they are paying for my job. Excuse me customer, I would like: a raise, benefits, a retirement plan and next week off since your 5 dollar order is paying so generously for my salary. I love it when you come to my store, and shop and actually buy a couple of items, but please refrain from stating that your name is on my paycheck because really, it's the CEO, I hate to burst your little bubble but it's true.
5. Don't inform me of your problems - This is strictly business, I'm the cashier and you are the customer, I don't want to hear about your loose bowels or how your husband is leaving you for a younger woman. I don't want to hear about how you lost 20 pounds on Jenny Craig or anything like that. I don't want to hear your problems because you don't want to hear mine. Let me tell you about how I have bills to pay and this job can't even cover most of it so I had to get a second job and go to school so I can better myself and after this lousy job I have to go home and take care of my husband and kids. Please delight me in your mediocre response and sprinkle in the occasional, you poor thing. Customers seem to think that when they shop at their local grocery stores they are getting a free therapy session along with their deals and specials. I hate to inform you dear Customers of mine, in the words of Clark Gable from Gone with the Wind, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
6. Don't tell me about how the competitor is better - I dislike it when customers tell me that they are leaving because another store is better. Good. Do you want me to drive you over there too? Please let me escort you there because honestly, I could care less. I could care less if you went down the road as soon as you leave the store, because then you aren't my problem anymore. Customers think it really affects me when they tell me they are going to never shop at my store again and I'm sorry to say this but it doesn't bother me at all. Once you leave I will still get paid to stand and do something, most likely nothing. I don't get paid by the competitor so the fact that you are leaving doesn't phase me. Just like I tell customers all the time when they choose to depart ways, for every customer that leaves there are at least 10 that come in. Customers seem to think cashiers really care about them, we do and yet we could care less.
7. Don't let your brat cry at the register - I'm scanning my items again, nothing special, you're watching the prices and talking to me like a good customer or if you want to be a bad customer you can be on your phone and then your children start crying. I don't mean whining or just crocodile tears, I mean they are having a temper tantrum and throwing themselves in the middle of the aisle and trying to get run over by a cart as their screams fill the store and you are pretending you don't see it happening. I'm sorry but sometimes I feel like calling their attention and informing them that their rug rat is making noise. Many times I see this with young parents or parents with multiple children, a lot of times these young babies want to be held or very tired and you have them out at the store instead of having them take their nap. I don't judge parents, because I'm not a parent, and everyone is different, but sometimes you just want to smack a kid. I remember one thing, this child wanted a candy bar and the mother told him no and the child blatantly asked his mother, "Do you not have enough money because daddy is leaving you?" Parents don't let your child make you look like a fool at the register because once you leave you are going to be the butt of the joke for days.
8. Don't give me an attitude - this one is for cashiers, when I say Don't give me an attitude because your life sucks. I would take the customer who complains that her hair is falling out because Suzy dyed it wrong over the customer/cashier who wants to give me an attitude. What did I do wrong? I'm either working or being served and then someone gives me an attitude. For instance, you're the customer and I'm the cashier like always, and you come up to my line and no one forced you and you give me an attitude when I say hello, how are you. I'm sorry I didn't know that your day at work is rough and your spouse is giving you a hard time and the children want chicken instead or steak, but don't take it out on little old me. I'm just the cashier, scanning your groceries worrying about my own problems. And this goes to cashiers too, I'm sick and tired of going to your line and asking you how your day is and I get some bratty little response like "you don't care about my day." Cashiers no one cares about your problems or how bad your day is or how bad your boss is, your job is to scan my groceries and to pretend smile. Don't give me an attitude cause believe me you don't want me to give you an attitude.
9. Don't make me call the manager - "Don't make me call the manager on you!" A customer once told me because I packed her meat next to the frozen mixed vegetables. The sin I committed was inexcusable and unforgivable and she wanted to call the manager, what the hell is the manager going to do that I'm not going to do. I'm going to apologize and ask you how you want your meat to be handled and then I'm going to pretend that I don't want to rip your head off and flush it down the toilet several times as I laugh manically. I don't mind calling the manager if their is a serious situation or a question but many times when you ask, how come we don't have Kosher Easter candy or why the flowers only grow in the spring, there is probably an answer I can get without calling the manager. So don't threaten me with that simple statement, because I will be glad to call him/her and watch them try not to laugh at you.
10. Don't ask me for my name - now I can openly admit there are times I didn't wear my name tag for this reason, and it is because when I wore my name tag, and had my name printed on the bottom of my receipt and when it was even on my screen, customers still asked me what the hell my name was. When you want to call the manager, because I rolled my eyes or ignored a comment or didn't apologize fast enough for my poor meat packing abilities and you want to call the manager, the last thing I want to tell you is my name because in the five minutes of me being the only person in this store who paid you attention, you forgot my name that says a lot about your character. A lot of times I ask for my customers names, and I remember my regulars. I know Bill comes in every night before closing and buys a bottle of chilled wine, and I know Andrea comes in every night before we close also and buys two gallons of water. How come you can't remember my name for a couple of seconds, it's not that important but it's humanly possible to remember, I'm human too.

Let me say that cashiers aren't perfect and we do encounter people who are just miserable, I was one of those people. But not all cashiers hate their jobs and want to quit, I know people in the business for years doing what they enjoy. Cashiers are humans, they are your son or daughter, wife or husband, friend or foe. Put a face to the name and a name to the face, we are the people that make it or break. There are certain stores I will not go to because they point at the screen instead of reading out 5.45 or I won't go to another store because the cashiers all look like they just escaped from an insane asylum. Treat people the way you would want to be treated, believe me your order will go by quicker, you will get out of there sooner, and you will have a great experience because really no one wants to go to a store and leave miserable. This is one unemployed cashier signing off, remember to keep on scanning and I'll see you next time for my next Rant from the Register, thank you.